It's almost humerous how fickel human emotion and thought can be. I never really go back and read all of these all that much. Once in a while I'll read a couple of them, usually the more recent. But today I went back and read the whole collection. Taking a step back, so much of it doesn't make sence. Well, not quite that. I guess it's that a lot of the time I will say one thing, and then contradict it later. Going back I can read one entry and remember feeling proud, read another and remember humility. I can find emotions of joy and understanding of the world in here, and then I can look and see terror and fear at my own ignorance. Which, all in all, makes me more or less normal, I think. Not a brooder, eternally wallowing in self pity, but neither oblivious to the reality and occasional harshness of life.

And I can't decide whether I want to embrace this emotional roller-coaster as the excitement of life, or condemn it as damnabley annoying. Another one of those emotional questions, I suppose. This is why psychiatrists tell you never to analyze yourself, because you end up going round and round in circles. You think you know your reactions, but then you question your knowledge, but then you question that question......... a vicious cycle, to be sure.