"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all. It streches on forever like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp watching falling stars. And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street. Or my Grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I say my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird. And Janie.... And Janie. And Caroline.
I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing all of it at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a ballon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold onto it. And then it flows through me like rain. And I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.
You have no idea what I'm talking aobut, I'm sure. But don't worry..... You will some day."
-Kevin Spacey, American Beauty

What would you see if you died right now, what would you feel? How would you reflect on the world. What would you dwell on if you had "an ocean of time" to enjoy your life thus far. Would you be mad that you died? If you were, what good would it do you? Is this heaven? Is it hell?

Maybe if you are content with your life - I mean morally, happily, and in all honesty content - then you will remember your life as a heaven. Maybe if you bent more rules than you were comfortable with, you will remeber something less pleasant.

For me, it would be watching thunderstorms with Dad. Staring at the sunrise over the moutains in Virginia with Ryan. Or sitting on the beach our last night in Cancun. And hugging Molly before we took her to be put to sleep.... I think I would be happy if it were already over.