"And it is also said," answered Frodo: "Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes."
"Is it indeed?" laughed Gildor. "Elves seldom give unguarded advice, for advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, and all courses may run ill. But what would you? You have not told me all concerning yourself, and how then shall I choose better than you? But if you demand advice, I will for friendship's sake give it..."
As soon as I have an office, this is the quote that's going on the door. From Tolkein's, The Fellowship of the Ring.
People, I find, myself included, love to give advice. It makes you feel important. That someone wants or at least is willing to listen to your experience and opinion and give it some value. It is a powerful compliment. But I now find myself trying, more often, to not give open advice. Or at least try to advise both ways. I think that the sign of wisdom, historically the sign of a great teacher or advisor, is one who shows both sides as equal, and helps the other person advise themself.
Great teachers never answer, they always question. Socrates, Jesus, and the Buddah all changed their culture's theory on thought, not by standing on pedestals and lecturing at the top of their voices, but by teaching individuals to think. Their advise was always a question.
It's kind of like the Chinese proverb, "Give a man a fish, feed him for a meal. Teach a man to fish, feed him for life."
"Give a man a thought, you solve one problem. Teach him to think, you help him solve all his problems."
