"How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him."

So many times we make choices. And once in a while we come to the difficult choice. The one where it is a moral dilema, or a choice of different courses, that will lead to very different ends. And very often we say that we are caught between a rock and a hard place. That we don't really know what to do, or what we want. I think that in almost every one of these instances, the deciding factor is nothing more than fear or anger. In Tolkien's Lord of the Rings Frodo is stuck with the ultimate decision. And the one to shed wisdom on the situation is Sam, saying, "He isn't hesitating about which way to go. Of course not.... ....But he's afraid. Now it's come to the point, he's just plain terrified." I find that in the end, it isn't always the finding the answer that's the problem, but just making the choice.
That may be part of what this is conveying. That, deep inside, most times people have an answer. They know. But either they don't want to know, or they're fearful of the knowledge, or the can't bring themselves to accept. And especially with anger. Anger clouds fact and wisdom faster than anything else. An angry man fights himself along with the rest of the world. When you are angry you see only one end, only one goal. And with that kind of tunnel vision it's hard to walk without stubbing your toes.

"Deep in the unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."

Again, a quote from Frank Herbert. I appreciate the way he works small pieces of wisdom or philosophy or morality into and all through-out Dune. It adds to the novel without detracting from the story; an art which so many authors lack completely.
In any case, this is something that I think many can appreciate. It seems to be a trend in recent humanity to explain the universe. How the universe is expanding, how nothing can surpass the speed of light, how time and space are really the same thing, what anti-matter is and if it exists. And today there'll be one theory and tomarrow another. Like Tommy-Lee Jones says in Men in Black, "500 years ago everybody knew that the earth was the center of the universe, 200 years ago everybody knew that the world was flat, and 15 minutes ago you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomarrow." We like to pretend that we have some kind of dominion over things so we try to understand them. 3000 years ago when people didn't understand why the sun moved across the sky, they blamed Apollo. Today we just have hypothosese. And in reality, we still don't know jack about the way of the universe. In an infinite universe, everything is infinitly possible. We like to pretend that we know about the universe because we need to feel secure. But if we know or do not know, the universe just doesn't care.
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, then are dreamt of in your philosophy." -Shakespeare

I seem to have lost some of my motivation to write, or maybe it's my inspiration that's lacking. I'm not really sure. But any any case, I think I'm just going to start writing meditations on other interesting quotes unless I have something more important or pressing or interesting to say. But any ways, if you disagree with me, or think me an idiot, or want to exhole my greatness.... tough. No, e-mail me. stevo@arches.uga.edu
So anyways, here's today's thought:

"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -Herbert

I'm not completely sure I agree with this one. I certainly think that it is wisdom of one is talking of fear as in terror. To allow one's self to become immobilized, either literally or figurativly, is counter-productive. Which is to say that it is completely unproductive and that is the same thing. In such a case the only thing to do is face the fear and then conquer once it has past. I really like the metaphor of fear creating a road, I see it almost as a tornado clearing a path through a thick forest.
But if the fear in question is more on the apprehension side, then I think that it can be a good thing. Small fear does more to spark adrenaline and motivate than it does harm. Think about it, if you're being chased by, say, an angry dog. Fear kicks you into overdrive long enough to run and jump a fence and get away. Or if you are a little afraid that you will fail a test, the fear coaxes you to study harder and go the extra mile to pass. Again, moderation is the important factor.

It's almost humerous how fickel human emotion and thought can be. I never really go back and read all of these all that much. Once in a while I'll read a couple of them, usually the more recent. But today I went back and read the whole collection. Taking a step back, so much of it doesn't make sence. Well, not quite that. I guess it's that a lot of the time I will say one thing, and then contradict it later. Going back I can read one entry and remember feeling proud, read another and remember humility. I can find emotions of joy and understanding of the world in here, and then I can look and see terror and fear at my own ignorance. Which, all in all, makes me more or less normal, I think. Not a brooder, eternally wallowing in self pity, but neither oblivious to the reality and occasional harshness of life.

And I can't decide whether I want to embrace this emotional roller-coaster as the excitement of life, or condemn it as damnabley annoying. Another one of those emotional questions, I suppose. This is why psychiatrists tell you never to analyze yourself, because you end up going round and round in circles. You think you know your reactions, but then you question your knowledge, but then you question that question......... a vicious cycle, to be sure.