Again and again I find that my real calling is to listen.

To not speak, to not interject... to just listen.

I notice it the more it happens to me.... that people don't need advise. They don't need my opinion or my stories. They just need to tell me. Everyone simply wants someone else who will hear THEIR side of it. Who will listen and not judge. They want someone to acknowledge that what they have to say really does matter. Someone to share the joy or the pain with. Someone who will care more about what they think, and not try to interupt.

To actually listen, and not just wait for your turn to speak.

Why does no one ever teach you this? With all the lessons and all the classes and all the knowledge and all of the adages out there... why did it take me 21 years to learn this? That true love is placing someone above yourself. And that we should truly love everybody. Because at the end of things.... that's all you really have. What good does it do me to not love somebody? Am I better off for my apathy? Are they?
Leaving all religions presuppositions out... We should still love every person we come in contact with.

An effect of this, Is to listen to them.

Right now, while you're reading this.... or just afterwards. Listen to the song: I'm Waiting for the Day by the Beach Boys
Go download it off of Kazaa or find an old copy of the Pet Sounds album.
Listen to the lyrics. I'm not positive, but this seems to be exactly where I have been for the last couple of months.

I came along when he broke your heart
That's when you needed someone to help forget about him,
I gave you love with a brand new start
That's what you needed the most to set your broken heart free,

I know you cried, and you felt blue,
But when I could I gave strength to you

I'm waiting for the day when you can love again

I kissed your lips when your face looked sad,
It made me think about him and that you still loved him so
But you know that pretty soon
I made you feel glad that you belonged to me
And love began to show

He hurt you then, but that's all done,
I guess I'm saying you're the only one
I'm waiting for the day when you can love again

He hurt you then, but that's all done,
I guess I'm saying you're the only one
I'm waiting for the day when you can love again

You didn't think that I could sit around and watch him work
You didn't think that I could sit around and let watch him take you
You didn't think that I could sit around and let him go.
You didn't think that I could sit back and let you go.


I don't really think about this often, I promise. It sounds like I bitch more than I do. But I was listening to the album the other day, and these lyrics hit me. Very seldom have I had a song that I so strongly feel like, "THAT'S ME!"

This song is where I am.